I got to thinking about all the shit I’ve told myself over the years and what I’ve learned.
I can’t leave my addicted, abusive husband. I did.
I can’t pay this bill this month. I did.
I can’t move my kids to another state during a school year. I did.
I can’t have kids. I did.
I can’t wear this. I did.
I can’t be strong. I am.
I can’t have a special needs child. I did.
I can’t tell my kids they’ll never see their father again. I did it. Had to.
I think about speaking in front of a group of people and I freak out but then I think about childbirth, the trouble of transfering all my utilities for a new house, all the things listed above and I realize I’m capable of anything. We all are. And NONE of us should question it or doubt it. And I only realized I was strong when someone told me I was. My friend Katrina told me once when going through my first divorce I was stronger than I knew. I hadn’t ever thought of it and suddenly if one person believed I was, maybe I was. And that was all I needed to believe.