I’m moving us back home. Well, to the area. I’m contemplating Southern Indiana but it’s definitely closer to family.
It’s a fresh start and a good distance away from bad memories here.
I’m waiting for that “Pretty Woman”, “An Officer and a Gentleman” ending. You know, the one when Richard Gere decides he can’t live without Roberts/Winger and turns the limo around/enters her factory and carried her away and they live happily ever after.
I’m waiting for him to do that. I’m waiting for him to text me, call me, drive his truck over to my work, ring the bell, walk past every open office door and into mine. I’m waiting to hear “You’re not leaving here without me.” He grabs me firmly and pulls me into him and we kiss. He carries me out and I never return to this place again and we live happily ever after.
We’re able to make love every day for the rest of lives together starting today because he learns I’m leaving and he realizes he can’t live without me. He can’t stand the thought of never possibly seeing me around these towns again. He realizes he wants only me, he comes up with this elaborate plan. He’ll get friends, co-workers involved. “Here’s what I need you to do…” he”ll say. I’ll hear trucks outside. I’ll go to the window. He’ll be my John Cusack in “Say Anything”.
But then realty slaps me in the face with it’s balls and I’m reminded nothing like that could ever happen to me. Because a) that shit only happens in movies and b) the part that really hurts, not one person loves me and needs to confess it. Nope. No calls or texts.
I’m just going to die alone.
The only difference now is I’ll die in a different state. But not in a different state of loneliness and heartbreak.