After bad date after bad date I just need to stop looking. But I seriously think like this: find a man that will be a great “father” to the boys while they’re young so that they can grow together. This is really my thought and my intention! I don’t know how to change it but it’s causing me great stress and grief. I sadly just keep thinking I need to do this for the boys. Honestly, I get hit on by a lot of married men. I have found myself attracted to married men. I wouldn’t dare touch a married man but when I watch a man with his children I become jealous and envious. And I’m being so honest and truthful here. It’s embarrassing and hurts to admit.