I started taking down the pool yesterday. I had a fun date last night. I cleaned and did laundry all day today. I finally sit down at 9 to eat. At Jake wakes crying out for his daddy. I know I’m not supposed to be looking for someone to rescue me but part of me just wants help getting through each day. The boys cry. I cry. It’s so hard juggling all the responsibilities and then add to that my own thoughts.
I feel like I’m busting my ass and everyone tells me I’m doing a good job but I miss being wanted. I’m only needed all day every day. It’s exhausting.
I feel everyone tells me nice, positive, kind things. I get told how awesome I am and how strong but I’m still alone. God knows I get married men’s attention but no single man wants apart of this life I have. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I’d like a little bit of help. I’d like support. I’d like to be enjoying my life other than just getting through it.
I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone.