My New Start

Bullshit. I’m not calling it that. We all do this stuff to ourselves at the beginning of every year. I’m not shoving that down your throat again! But it hasn’t been bad. Which makes me feel obligated to confess something with you all. And it’s just terribly ironic considering my blog title and its conception.

But I’ve realized I drink too much. Not every day. But binge drink. Every few weeks. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t like who I am when I do get that way. I make bad decisions, do bad things and I’m hurting myself, my family friends.

I’m not stopping cold turkey but I’m trying to manage it. I’m not bringing any alcohol in the house during the week. I’m only drinking when I’m out. However, that proved to be a problem the other night. I have to work on limiting myself. I bring a six pack home on Friday and maybe buy another one Saturday. But it’s cheap beer (budgeting) and I feel like crap the next morning if I drink it all. I’m hoping to learn my lesson. I’m an adult, I need to act like it.

The boys NEVER seen me drunk. I get home after they are in bed. But I don’t want to be that way.

So I’m going to try to still keep my blog interesting, just with less bourbon:)

I’ve still got a dirty mouth and wickedly bad sense of humor with or without alcohol. I’ve got these kids that are constantly making me laugh and post things. (Oh, yeah! I’m bad about posting everything on Facebook!)

Overall, the last month went well. I realized my problem towards the end of 2016 and am working on it. Aside from one night. One night with some great friends I hadn’t seen in a while. One night away from the boys. One night (and next day) that never needs to be repeated again. My diet was going well until that next morning also. Greasy sausage, cheese, hashbrowns and a big Coke just has to be consumed during a hangover.

I’m already happier and thinking clearer and more like the adult I am and need to be. Going to start reading again. Going to focus on work, current relationships and most importantly my boys!! Have I wrote about all this before? I feel like I have but I don’t want to go back and reread my posts because then I’ll start editing and reworking and that’s not what I want my blog to be about. I want to be honest, vulnerable and imperfect. And apparently I need to start working on my memory.

About bourbonbreathmom

No words can describe me;)
This entry was posted in addiction, boy mom life, Single mom, Special needs. Bookmark the permalink.

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